Greater Manchester Bereavement Service Posted on 6 May 2020

Do:

• Be there for the person who is grieving – pick up the phone, write a letter or an email, call by or arrange to visit.
• Accept that everyone grieves in their own way, there is no ‘normal’ way.
• Encourage the person to talk.
• Listen to the person.
• Create an environment in which the bereaved person can be themselves and show their feelings, rather than having to put on a front.
• Be aware that grief can take a long time.
• Contact the person at difficult times such as special anniversaries and birthdays.
• Mention useful support agencies such as Cruse Bereavement Care.
• Offer useful practical help.

Don’t:

• Avoid someone who has been bereaved.
• Use clichés such as ‘I understand how you feel’, ‘You’ll get over it’ or ‘Time heals’.
• Tell them it’s time to move on, they should be over it – how long a person needs to grieve is entirely individual.
• Be alarmed if the bereaved person doesn’t want to talk or demonstrates anger.
• Underestimate how emotionally draining it can be when supporting a grieving person. Make sure you take care of yourself too.